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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28091277">Scars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonAgeAndBooks/pseuds/DragonAgeAndBooks'>DragonAgeAndBooks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Loki fluffs because I have nothing better to do [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comfort/Angst, Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gender-neutral Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Let's just hope Frigga had no idea, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Odin (mention), One Shot, Other, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Past physical abuse, Sad Loki, Sad with a Happy Ending, Scars, Thor (mention) - Freeform, loki deserves love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:07:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28091277</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonAgeAndBooks/pseuds/DragonAgeAndBooks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader discovers why Loki hates to talk about his past. </p><p>Warning: mention of past physical abuse and child abuse.</p><p>Reader is Gender-Neutral.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Loki fluffs because I have nothing better to do [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053731</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Version 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wasn't sure which reveal to go with so I just wrote two different versions of the same one shot. Version 2 is chapter 2. Feel free to let me know your favorite!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We'd been together for about a month. Ever since Loki and I shared a surprisingly gentle kiss, he had unofficially laid claim to me and we spent most of our time together. We would read, go to the grocery store, go to the bookstore, read more, and talk often. We spoke of everything-- politics, missions, philosophy, and even the other Avengers on occasion (gossip apparently fit into Loki's domain of mischeif). We would spend hours comparing midgardian and Asgardian culture, history, geography, and knowledge. Despite all the time we spent together, we had yet to cuddle. We teased each other with pecks on the lips and pet names, but the most intimacy we shared otherwise was when our thighs and shoulders touched while reading on the couch. I was surprised at first, as I had assumed that the god of mischeif would be more sexual, but I accepted the unspoken boundaries between us. Loki never spoke of his past or family either. He was a complicated person; I knew I would need to be patient with him.</p>
<p>We had established that I was welcome on his floor of the compound before. He never left his room unless to read or eat anyway. So, I was surprised when I stepped off of the elevator and found him shirtless at the counter with his back to me.</p>
<p>He whipped around and held a cloth over his chest when he heard me enter.</p>
<p>"What are you doing here?" He demanded, sounding angry. I knew he was just flustered.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, I wanted to come see if you would take a trip to the bookstore with me. I finished another one." I said, grinning sheepishly. "What's with the cloth?"</p>
<p>"Nothing that concerns you, now leave." He said coldly.</p>
<p>"Loki... is everything okay?"</p>
<p>"I'm fine! Just go away!"</p>
<p>"Liar--"</p>
<p>"That's the job description, darling." He retorted with bitter sarcasm.</p>
<p>"-- you've been on our team for months now and I've never seen your chest. That's weird, Loki.  I mean-- with training and injuries, that's weird."</p>
<p>"Maybe you're making me uncomfortable." He gritted out.</p>
<p>I stepped a little closer and pressed my hand against the cloth so that it was between my hand and his chest.</p>
<p>"Please, you can tell me."</p>
<p>Loki's eyes flickered between mine and, glowering, he finally loosened his shoulders.</p>
<p>"Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you."</p>
<p>He let go of the cloth and allowed me to slowly reveal his chest. His chest was lined and crossed with scars.</p>
<p>I forced out a jagged breath and turned him by the shoulders. There were more in his back. His whole back was covered in uneven white scars. He had been cut on the chest and whipped on the back. I turned him back to me and cupped his face.</p>
<p>"Who did this to you?" I growled.</p>
<p>"Odin."</p>
<p>"Odin did this?"</p>
<p>"If you weren't going to believe me, why did you ask?" Loki scoffed, pulling away from me.</p>
<p>"I believe you. I do. I'm just... I'm so..."</p>
<p>"Shocked?" Loki rolled his eyes, once again assuming that I didn't already know how shitty his "father" was.</p>
<p>"Not shocked, enraged. How could he do this to you? How could he hurt you like this? How dare he hurt you like this?"</p>
<p>"Punishments for disobeying him. These--" Loki gestured to a few of the scars, grimacing, "-- are for what I did in New York."</p>
<p>"You've never deserved any of this."<br/>Loki said nothing.</p>
<p>"Do you want to put your shirt back on?"</p>
<p>"Do my scars... scare you?"</p>
<p>"No, love, no. You'll never know how much it means to me that you were able to tell me about this." I reached up towards one of them and Loki flinched. I dropped my hand, heart aching.</p>
<p>Loki grabbed my hand and raised it to the level of the scar and met my eyes.</p>
<p>I ghosted my fingers over the mark, watching his expression closely. Then I wrapped my arms around the divet in his waist below the scars on his back and pulled him closer with my forehead on his breastbone. Slowly, his arms wrapped around me and held my body against his. I kissed the nearest scar, tightening my grip on his waist when he shivered. We stayed like that, silently, for several minutes. I ran my thumb back and forth over the skin of his waist until he pulled away, cupped my cheeks, and kissed me deeply.</p>
<p>"Thank you for letting me in, Loki." I murmured against his mouth.</p>
<p>"... thank you for being with me." He replied, kissing me again and putting on a half-smile. "Now, how about those books?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Version 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alternate reveal where Loki is initially upset that Reader asked Thor what Loki was like as a child, then Loki realizes Reader genuinely wants to know more about him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You asked my brother about my childhood?"</p><p>I sat down on the couch gingerly. Loki's tone was slightly shaky but still defensive and upset. I knew I messed up. </p><p>"Yes, Loki. You never want to talk about it. I want to know more about you. I want to understand you and you--"</p><p>"Did not want to relive those memories for a reason." Loki's eyes were panic-stricken and I realized how bad whatever happened to him must have been.</p><p>"You're right. You're right, I was being selfish and insensitive... I'm so sorry, Loki. Please forgive me. You're just so hard to understand sometimes and I know it's hard for you to open up. I just wanted to know what you were like as a child. I'm sorry."</p><p>Loki sighed and sat down beside me.</p><p>"I did not intend to be so harsh with you. It's--"</p><p>Loki paused, carefully considering his next words.</p><p>"Painful?" I supplemented.</p><p>Loki did not confirm nor deny the word.</p><p>"If it helps, Thor only told me that you and he did not get along so he had very little to say--" Loki cut me off as my speech started to speed up in anxiety.</p><p>"I'm not mad at you, darling. It's alright. I should have known you would be curious."</p><p>"You can be a bit vague sometimes-- with every right! But I started wondering and--"</p><p>"Shhh, it's okay, love." Loki murmured, holding his finger up to my lips.</p><p>I kissed it.</p><p>"It's alright." Loki continued, smiling ever-so-slightly and ever-more-gently. "I underestimated your interest in me. I admit there are things I have not told you because I did not want you to feel the weight of my burdens..."</p><p>"Loki, please. Let me in." I pleaded.</p><p>"Are you giving me puppy eyes?" Loki chuckled.</p><p>"Is it working?" I pushed my lower lip out.<br/>Loki planted a chaste kiss on my pouting lips.</p><p>"Very well. I shall show you why I am not fond of my past."</p><p>"Show me?" I was confused, but when he began to take off his shirt, I quickly realized what he meant.</p><p>His shirt was tossed on the floor somewhere. I did not know where because I was busy taking in the remnants of horrors before me. Across Loki's chest were several angry white scars. They were far too smooth to have been claws of any kind, and I realized with a sharp inhalation that these were systematically lined up. The shallow ones on his upper chest must have been inflicted several times in the same spot to cause such old, smooth scars. The deeper scars across his stomach were lined up in a way that made premeditation obvious.</p><p>I lifted my hands toward him--</p><p>He flinched.</p><p>It was small, well-hidden, but I saw it. Loki flinched at the idea of being touched... by me. It felt like a stampede was plowing over my heart. I gently guided Loki to turn around. I was horrified to discover that his back was even worse. There were jagged, deep, diagonal cuts at various angles-- scars left behind from more than a few lashes of a whip. He had been cut on the chest and whipped on the back.</p><p>I scrunched my eyes closed, feeling the sudden urge to cry. I stifled a single sob and covered my mouth.</p><p>"Don't cry, love, it's alright." Loki's voice soothed. He was facing me again, dark hair emphasizing the stark white scars on his chest.</p><p>"It absolutely is not! Not at all! You're so beautiful and handsome, but these... these are... who did this to you?" I lowered my voice in something far beyond mere rage.</p><p>Loki would not look me in the eyes as he said, "Odin."</p><p>"Oh, my God."</p><p>"Well, yes, literally." Loki attempted humor to offset my attention on his pain. He was ashamed.</p><p>"Oh, Loki." I cupped his cheeks, watching his eyes avoid mine with conviction. "Please look at me."</p><p>When his eyes finally rested on mine, they looked so vulnerable that I forgot my words.</p><p>"Nothing you could possibly have done would ever justify this. Nothing."</p><p>"Are you--disturbed by me?" He asked softly, closely observing my reaction.</p><p>"No, love. Absolutely not. The opposite, actually. I want..."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I want to kiss every single one away. I want to soothe the pain that you feel, but I don't know how."</p><p>"I don't want your pity--" Loki began, but I quickly corrected him.</p><p>"The only thing I pity is that I cannot change a thing that you have endured so strongly. I want to throttle your father and throw him into the deepest, darkest, coldest trench in the universe. I want to make sure no one ever hurts you again."</p><p>I did. I wanted every one of those things from the bottom of my heart.</p><p>Loki was still and silent in awe of my sincerity.</p><p>"What do you want? Is there anything that I can do for you? Anything at all."</p><p>"Let me hold onto you."</p><p>I scooted closer. Loki ensnared me in a tight but gentle hug and pulled me into his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck, careful not to touch any of the scars on his back, and held his forehead against my shoulder.</p><p>"I've never had anything in my life this good before. I'm afraid to ever let you go." He murmured against my neck.</p><p>"Loki."</p><p>His grasp loosened around me and I wriggled my arms free to cup his face. Loki leaned closer to me and I planted a loving kiss on his forehead.</p><p>"If you ever let me go, I will always come back to you. I'm in love with you, Loki."</p><p>We kissed passionately, although Loki had never before been so gentle and soft with me. I gasped when we separated.</p><p>"I love you, Loki." I repeated between a few more kisses.</p><p>"I..." Loki paused, unsure.</p><p>"You don't have to love me. It's alright. I just want you to know that I would do anything for you."</p><p>"I do. I... I love you, too." His voice got stronger and he met my eyes as he repeated the phrase. "I love you, too. I've just never said that before."</p><p>"You will never know how honored I am." I said, giggling.</p><p>"What's so funny?" Loki's eyebrows dipped, but he was smiling slightly.</p><p>"Nothing. I'm just happy." I pulled his face close again and nuzzled the tip of my nose against his. Then I kissed him again, excited to find a genuine smile on his lips.</p><p>"Is that what this is? Happiness?" He murmured, before kissing me again. "It's pleasant."</p><p>I leaned my forehead against his shoulder and wrapped our fingers together at my sides.</p><p>"Good, because you're stuck with me."</p><p> </p>
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